Oh No She Didn't!

Viper's Delight

Have you ever been over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good?  No, for real though...let's cut to the chase. 

Ever had to interact socially with a blatantly insincere person who thrives on being disagreeable on a consistent basis?  You know, that person who walks around looking like she just smelled baby poop, and the scent came from your direction?  But, let that heffer be in the presence of her boss, or a senior member of her social set and she's sweeter than peaches and cream with a phony sugary sweet accent to top off the charade.   

Every month my girlfriend tells me about the evil, tactless and disrespectful things that spew from this viper's mouth.  My girl usually manages to avoid being around the tactless wonder, but occasionally she cannot escape the negative vibes and vapid conversation.  What mystifies the majority of her club members is the air of superiority and self satisfaction that the viper seems to delight in after tongue lashing or speaking in condescending tones to her one of her unlucky "sisters."

Can this poor woman be saved from the evil within?  Should she be reprimanded for her unsportswoman-like behavior in this game called life?  Should someone hand her a mirror and an audio tape so she can recognize how ugly her behavior is?  Or should we all just go on about our business and ignore the crazy lady begging for an attitude transplant?  Whatcha think?

Smooches,

Karmas A. Beach

Fakin' The Funk

Ok, ladies.  We have heard all about your drama.  It’s time for some words from the stronger sex.  With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, one of my boys needs to tighten up his game.  On paper, he has it all—well educated, successful, fun-loving and adored by many.  However, in person, this brother takes James Brown’s call to “Make it funky, now!” a little too serious.  The hand tailored Italian suits cannot disguise the fact that his breath is kickin’ like Tae Bo!  And brotherman did not just finish an onion burger—he could have just had a chaser of mouthwash, but it’s no match for the Dragon. 

Do I tell Lover Boy that Altoids are NOT doing the job?  How can I spare the air and his feelings?  Help a brother out.

Truly,

Sir Nose De Void of Funk

"Oh No She Didn't!" Vol 2

Back Down from a Smack Down

• Oh, yes she did!  A couple of weeks ago my nephew’s wife Melinda* invited me to attend a luncheon that was thrown by her exclusive women’s club.  The club’s members are intelligent, well-healed, socially savvy professional women.  So I was shocked when Melinda was accosted by a club member who, with slit eyes and some sort of fur animal perched on her head, barked orders at Melinda in a venomous, condescending tone.  Melinda, who knew that the directions Miss Fur Head was giving were incorrect, remained calm and carried on with her tasks.  Watching all of this in disbelief, I wanted to smack the fur nest off of Miss Fur Head’s head and send this charm school drop-out back to school for a much needed refresher course in tact and class.  The attack was unprovoked and unexpected--Melinda regularly avoids Fur Head and her negative energy.
• After a few moments of envisioning a straight-up smack down moment, I thought of three potential non-violent reactions to Fur Head’s inane antics:  1) Ignore the bully—karma will take care of the rest; 2) Confront the bully—give her a taste of her own venom; 3) Expose the bully—share stories of the unpleasant Fur Head experience with others, maybe she will recognize her nasty behavior and stop harassing others.

Intelligent readers, what would you have done/said if someone had done this to you?

“Back Down from a Smack Down” wants to know……

*Fictitious name

"Oh No She Didn't!" - New for 2007

Hi Folks...

What's this about? Simple...

1. 1.  Send us your stories about those “you won’t believe this” moments.
2. 2.  As long as you don’t “name names,” and exclude profanities, we'll likely publish the story in this section.
3. You can remain anonymous…or not.  It’s up to you. If you want to submit your story anonymously, click here>>. If not, email us at editor@viplineup.com, and we'll still keep your identity anonymous unless you request otherwise.
4. Readers will be free to comment on your submissions.
5. Submissions may be fact or fiction. How would we know?

It didn't take long for the word to get around on this one. We’re off and running below with our first submission from “Krystle" (fictitious name). Hold tight, I think this is going to be quite a ride…

--Michael D

*********************************************

Scrooge Wears Prada

My girlfriends' cousin's sister-in-law's boss(y) lady decided to throw a lavish "company" holiday party in another city.  After the loyal subjects were informed that there would be no raises, they would be required to use their personal credit cards for business travel and accommodations, they would pay more for fewer benefits, there would be no 401k match, and teeny, tiny token bonuses would be distributed (if they were lucky), they were invited to board a plane and fly to attend a "company" holiday party with 150 of her friends and her family just days before Christmas.  Wasn't that special!  In order to avoid appearing "ungrateful," those who attended spent their hard earned dollars at the bar to shake off the thought that the cost of the party, airfare, transportation, hotel  and other party-related expenses could have been a much appreciated bonus for each employee....but when the Devil, I mean "Scrooge," wears Prada, Manolos and Gucci, someone has to pay the price!

Should the boss lady, who is a legend in her own mind per her employees, be commended for her Oprah-like generosity and her ability to generate a large company write-off?  Or should she be clued in to the fact that the lavish, ghetto-fabulous party is viewed by most as being self-serving, financially irresponsible and insensitive to her hard-working staff?  They say that old dogs can't learn new tricks, but maybe with your help, good readers, this one can. Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay! 

-- Kisses, Krystle Kleer

*********************************************

Send us your stories about those “you won’t believe this” moments. You can remain anonymous…or not.  It’s up to you. If you want to submit your story anonymously, click here>>. If not, email us at editor@viplineup.com, and we'll still keep your identity anonymous unless you request otherwise.

Read the COMMENTS and then let others know what you think. EMAIL ADDRESS/IDENTITY IS OPTIONAL.